Feeling Guilty

I keep going in for more blood work and got a great bruise yesterday. The lady acted like she knew how to do it and got out the little needle with the tube,I know that is supposed to make things easier, but it is one of the few times I have bruised. Don't want to see her again. I get to go back on Thursday for more. The only good thing is they keep taking me off more meds. Hoping by next weekend to be off them all. Don't know if it will happen but praying it can.

Kyle's parents came into town last night for Tanner and Kayla's birthday. It was good to have someone to help play with the kids today. They are probably taking them back to CA for a few days to give me a rest. The Zofran (generic) is helping and I am doing better but still feeling yucky. I even threw up today so I am not past it all yet.

Sometimes I feel really guilty for being pregnant. I know so many people who struggle with fertility issues and have no kids or only one. I feel terrible for them. I know how hard it is to have someone tell you they are pregnant when you wish you were. Granted it is not easy for me to get pregnant. IVF is no easy street. It is a long hard road that is very costly financially, emotionally, and physically. I know that. But still it worked for me twice. I am so bless that it has and that I have had two chances to be pregnant. I hate to complain about my pregnancy as I am so greatful to be pregnant and know plenty of people who would love to be in the same boat but can for many different reasons. If you are one of those people who are infertile and read this, please know I feel for you. I may not be in your exact situation and I may have kids and you don't, but once you are infertile I don't think it ever leaves you. Even if/when you are done having your kids whether by pregnancy or adoption, it is still a disease that can cause you heartache.

I have learned so much from traveling down this road and met some amazing people who are so strong. There are so many different paths to take in the land of infertility but one or another must be traveled. I am so grateful I didn't wait looking into my health issues and we were able to find out relatively quickly why I couldn't get pregnant and find an alternative method. When ever I talk to someone about infertility that is my advice, DO NOT WAIT. The longer you put it off the harder it is emotionally and physically. If you know some one who struggles, please pass that on. If you struggle, don't think it will just go away. It is a disease not luck.

I kinda got off track but I am very grateful for the blessing of my pregnancy despite how I am feeling I do appreciate that I am able to be pregnant at all. Some where between 1 in 8 and 1 in 10 couples struggle with infertility, that is a lot of people and to all of you fellow infertility sisters, be strong, it is a hard road but find the best way for you to move on and be happy.